Last week I went to the hospital in the city to double check that my Marci only has one kidney. She does in fact only have one kidney but is otherwise completely healthy and will be more than okay with just one.
On our way back from the hospital I finally made it public knowledge using the wonder that is Facebook to let people who did know, that she was okay, and to inform those that didn’t know what was going on. A few hours later after one hell of an afternoon (which I don’t want to go into) I start getting comments from my partners side saying they were annoyed and upset that they heard about it through Facebook. I calmly explained that there was no need to worry, that it was our choice who to tell and when and how we like, and that it was upsetting me that they were all taking it so personally. This lead to more and more horrid words being thrown my way so I spent that night crying into my pizza and wishing I hadn’t bothered telling anyone at all.
What I want to talk about is this;
Is it okay for family or friends to be so hurt over hearing something so insignificant over Facebook? Me and my partner are very strongly on the side of no. The fact that they were told at all (via Facebook or not) was our choice and we chose to share it that way. We see it as, our lives, our child, our choice. His mother and other family his side and all mine including friends are with us on this yet I still allowed those few who wanted to fight about it to get to me and make me feel bad about our choice.
One of the main things I want to address is that things they have done/offered to buy were thrown in my face because they found out on Facebook not via … well probably Facebook messages seeing as unlike my friends they don’t call or stop by to ask if I’m okay. The fact that they were so upset about not hearing the news personally when they make no effort to be part of our lives was laughable and I wish in that moment I’d had the right frame of mind to say this to them. I however was stuck in a violent circle of hormone induced crying, bpd induced rage and disassociation.
This day knocked me back a lot and I had to block them the next day for trying to turn it on my friends who were pouring in and sticking up for me.
My final decision is that they will stay blocked and will hear nothing about our child until they choose to apologise tome for all the stress they put me through and all the vile things they said to me while they were acting like children.
In this I’ve learnt that not everyone, even those who are meant to be family, have your best interests at heart. This is a lesson I thought I’d learnt years ago but it seems I had to learn it again.
Until next time, stand strong and stand by your choices and convictions even if the whole world may appear to be against you.